Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Knuckle Bustin' Bling

Being single sucks.

Yeah, I know, not exactly breaking news.

Don't get me wrong, it isn't all bad. No one steals the covers in the middle of the night, leaving you a shivering lump hugging the edge of the bed for warmth. And there's actually milk in the carton when you reach for it.

But as if having to turn into Dale Gribble to deal with the creepy crawlers instead of shrieking from the safety of the sofa isn't bad enough, it seems a city-wide alert went out to every loser-y loser the second your Facebook status changed from "in a relationship" to "it's complicated."

It's like some sort of silent signal that only short, fat, balding and under-employed guys with superb recall of every episode of Battlestar Galactica, and a misguided desire to draw you into a conversation about the original vs. the sacrilegious reboot, can hear.

You’re either fending off annoying psychos, hung up on an annoying psycho, or becoming one yourself. Seems like no matter how it goes, you end up on the defensive.

What you need is a ring. No, not that kind of ring. A knuckle ring. No, not that kind of knuckle ring. A strong-yet-delicate knuckle ring.

Definitely an improvement on the LL Cool J-circa 1988 look, these bad ass knuckle-busters (pair the ring finger with either the middle or pinky ones) are the perfect symbol for that winning combination of go-it-alone toughness and alluring femininity.

Melody Ehsani (Karmaloop.com, $50)

Kaboom Two Finger (Homeroom Jewelry, $136)

Cat knuckle ring (Ambiguous Horse, $220)

True, it’s not diamonds. But the statement is just as powerful.

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