Fool Me Once . . .

Kiki is joined at the hip to her Chloe carryall.

MK totes her Balenciaga bag with a new homeless outfit daily.

And half of Hollywood’s starlets seem prepared to have the LV logo tattooed on their foreheads.

Though really, anything that gets the Paris Hilton seal of approval should probably be avoided. And wiped down with an anti-bacterial cloth.

But fashion doesn't have to be serious to make a statement. Ditch the snotty "It" bags for something a little more fun.


Like this trompe l'oiel "Honey" tote ($74.20) from girl crush Gwen Stefani's Harajuku Lovers line. French for "to deceive the eye," it features simulated stitching and sassy sketch accessories for added whimsy. Oh la la, talk about eye catching!

But here's the real deal: an exterior pocket keeps essentials (gum, cellie, etc.) close at hand and there's tons of room inside for all of your essentials and the latest issue of Allure magazine. Maybe even a lunch-time splurge item. Or two.



See what fabulous looks you're missing when you walk around with your nose in the air all the time? Boy, I hope didn't just ruin it for the rest of us normies . . .

DuWop Twilight Lip Venom V Sucks (And Not In A Good Way)

As a die-hard Harry Potter fanatic, no one dislikes the concept of Twilight—some pansy love story with not a single wizard in sight!—more than I do.

And even though there doesn't seem to be a warm-blooded female on the planet who's not obsessed with Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen, he will always be Cedric Diggory in my eyes.

But despite my lack of obsession with all things pale and sparkly, I couldn't help trying DuWop's Twilight product tie-in, Lip Venom V.

I know, I know.

I've kvetched about my less than stellar experience with the cult-y lip plumper but with the rather sad state of my love life, the promise of a blood-red pout with the power to tempt even the undead was too alluring to resist. It just seemed like something that’s fun, youthful, and easy to wear with heavy eyeliner or a low cut dress.

I tried a few swipes first without shaking the vial to disperse the red stain droplets and though tiny colored flecks clung to the brush, it didn't deliver anything more than cinnamon scented lips. And oh yeah, the same blood-curdling tingle DuWop is known for. Yeow-zah!

For all the patented plumping razzle dazzle, my lips . . . looked exactly the same as before I applied the gloss. And they weren't even particularly shiny. Despite slicking on enough coats to be mistaken for the Exxon Valdez, LV2 is so thin and oily it literally melted off my lips and ran down my chin. WTF? So NOT cute.

Take two. A few shakes "to blend the human and vampire worlds" (insert eye roll here) definitely gave my pucker some color all right. You know the bright red stain kids get around their mouths after sucking on a Popsicle? Yeah. Not exactly the hypnotizing Black Honey-esque look I was hoping for. But if you're trying to achieve that youthful Kool-Aid red shade all the kids are sporting these days, this is definitely the product for you!

To be fair, I tried LV2 a few more times, but as Sean Connery said in Indiana Jones & The Lost Crusade, the "situation did not improve." Color clung to the corners of my mouth and ended up streaky and uneven on my actual lips, and the only plumping action was the padding of DuWop's wallets thanks to the $19.50 I shelled out for it.

Vampires might live forever but Lip Venom V should be staked and sent to product purgatory. Evidently Twilight's first foray into cosmetics, a perfume venture released by Hot Topic that ended up slapped with a lawsuit and a 50% off sticker, was a sign of sucky products to come.

But if the Harry Potter folks ever come out with a line of bubble, bubble, toil and trouble cosmetics, I'd totally be up for trying the "Holy Hogwarts!" lip balm and "Hip Hip Hippogriff" blush!

Just sayin' . . .

Rachel Zoe's Newsletter: "I Die!" Or A Dud?

I was like a little kid at Christmas anticipating the debut issue of The Zoe Report, the Goop/Daily Candy-like digest of things I want but usually can't afford, from "I Die!" stylist and reality-television star Rachel Zoe.

So it was with manic glee that I clicked on my in-box today, only to find that my gift wrapped fashion treat arrived without batteries.

Whatever I was expecting, it wasn't the paint-by-numbers product pimping piece I suspect a lowly and poorly dressed intern typed up between jaunts to Starbucks and A-list fashion emergencies.

For our consumer-y consideration, Zoe offers up a striking, leopard print Lola Platform pump by Brian Atwood, along with her trademarked catchphrase. To avoid potential legal entanglements, let's just say they're "apples!"

Unfortch, they retail for $680.

Unless Bravo plans to sign me up for a riveting reality show about the life of a broke blogger cum Payless fashionista, they're so out of my budget it's not enough funny. Not even ha, ha funny that's really just polite, yet uncomfortable tittering.

But whereas Gwennie dearest is totally tone-deaf to our sucky economic situation, Zoe at least suggests a real-world alternative for us normies for $129.95.

Where is the Zoe-ness that makes me sentence friends and family to absolute silence from 10-11pm so I can bask in the delicious hi-def fashion glory that is The Rachel Zoe Project?

Inserting her signature quip does not a must-read make. God forgive me, but here's hoping the next issue meets or exceeds the cultural zeitgeistiness of Goop's unintended hilarity (ugh, I think I vomited in my mouth a little ...).

What's Red & White & Fabulous All Over? The Zoe Report!

Starting tomorrow, The Zoe Report, a daily email featuring Rachel Zoe's current obsessions in the ever-evolving worlds of fashion, beauty, and lifestyle, will hit email in-boxes.

Squeeeeeeeeee!

Sign up at RachelZoe.com for your daily dose of glamour.

Are you as excited as I am for the head-to-head between everyone's fave red carpet guru and the goddess of Goop Gwyneth Paltrow?

It'll be like an East coast vs. West coast rivalry, but with more hairspray and WAY better fashion---it's going to be bananas!

Bring it, ladies!

And totally coinky dink I'm sure, season two of her show The Rachel Zoe Project kicks off on August 25.

Free Stuff! Allure August Beauty Blowout

Imagine being a kid let loose to pick anything you wanted from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

Well, Allure magazine's August Free Stuff Blowout is kinda like that.

Starting on August 3, and every day throughout the month, you have a chance to win 33,683 amazing fashion and beauty products worth over $564,000!

All 100% free. Ah, my favorite words.

Prizes include heaps of beauty products by Lancome, Molton Brown, Chanel, and Benefit as well as amazing fashion items by Oscar de la Renta, Derek Lam, and Cynthia Steffe.

Sign on to allure.com/freestuff every weekday in August for a chance to win! To have a daily reminder sent to your cell phone, text "FREESTUFF" to ALLURE (255873).

To peep all of the August giveaway goodies, click here.

Here's what's on my weekly wish list:

MONDAY, AUGUST 3 - 12 P.M.
Derek Lam sandals. With resin horn heels, these suede sandals stand out among black shoes (retail value: $790).

MONDAY, AUGUST 3 - 2 P.M.
Shiseido Makeup Perfect Rouge Lipstick in RD304. Makeup artist Dick Page, who created the shade for Shiseido, likes to apply it in multiple layers, blotting between each coat, for a sexy, stainlike finish. The first 325 Allure readers to sign up will get one free (retail value: $25).

TUESDAY, AUGUST 4 - 12 P.M.
Calvin Klein Collection Tote. This minimalist leather tote gets you in the mood for fall (retail value: $750).

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 5 - 4 P.M.
Orly Nail Lacquer in Prim & Proper. For a fresh twist on pale pink nails, try the often overlooked lilac. This sheer polish is truly flattering. The first 250 Allure readers to sign up will get a free bottle (retail value: $7.50).

THURSDAY, AUGUST 6 - 4 P.M.
Molton Brown Purifying Plum-Kadu Hairwash. Women seek clarity through meditation, psychiatry—and shampoo. The first 150 Allure readers to sign up will get a bottle of this plum-packed clarifying shampoo free (retail value: $28).

FRIDAY, AUGUST 7 - 12 P.M.
Hussy coat. This wool coat with layered sleeves and a wide sash belt is so trim, it could almost pass for a dress (retail value: $209).

What's on your lust list? If you could pick any one beauty or fashion product you wanted, what would it be?

Get Naked! With Bobbi Brown's Nude Collection (Sheesh, Ya Pervs)

Natural-looking makeup is the beauty equivalent of blue jeans--a look that can totally be dressed up or dressed down. Even better, it's pretty and polished and absolutely goof proof at o'dark-thirty in the morning.

Spackling and blending and excessive primping is just beyond my cosmetic capabilities when my brain is foggy from lack of sleep. I'm lucky if I don't poke my eye out with the eyeliner!

I probably already have more complexion-enhancing shades than most beauty editors, but I can't help being on the lookout for new ones to try. It's in my beauty DNA or something.

So naturally (ha!), I was immediately drawn to the gorgeously understated range in Bobbi Brown's new Nude Collection.

Love! Want! Must-have!

The Nude Eye Palette ($60) includes three eye shadow duos in day-to-night shades in three different textures: soft matte, lightly pearlized, and metallic high-shimmer. What’s great is that you can simply dust a mocha shade on your lids and blend it into your browbone for an effortlessly pretty daytime look. From there, you can put a hint of a darker hue in your creases for some extra depth, but if you’re in a hurry, just brush on the champagne shimmer to make your eyes really pop—add a little black liner on the top and some mascara and you’re good to go. And it has the perfect pairing to give you a sultry smoky eye for cocktails to celebrate not telling your boss where to stick it or your cube-mate that not everyone is interested in the intimate details of her latest trip to Loserville.

I've never in my life even considered spending that kind of cash for eye shadow but when you think about how much you've spent in the past on eye shadow disasters, and the fact that these are colors you'll wear practically every day, it's a totally economically feasible splurge. See, I am the bestie you want to go beauty shopping with because I can justify just about anything. It's a gift.

But it's the Nude Shimmer Brick ($38) that got the gimme! gasp. It's sooooo pretty. It features five pigments-pink, gold, bronze, beige, and caramel that can be used on the eyes, cheeks, anywhere really, for that extra bit of polish and "maybe she's born with it" glow. And who doesn't want that!?


The creamy lip color ($22) gives me pause even though there are lots of pout tempting shades. As a diehard lipgloss fan, it’s been years since I’ve used a lipstick. I can’t help it—gloss just wins my heart. I love the first time you twirl the lipstick up to reveal that perfectly shaped tip but the thrill is gone once it molds itself to your lips. Plus, I'm a slap-it-on and go kind of girl and applying lipstick on your lips and not your teeth requires a bit more time and effort. But the come-hither temptation of the raisin berry shade might be enough for me to go over to the lipstick side, at least for a visit.

Dropping $120 (not including S/H if you order online) on Bobbi's Nude Collection to achieve a natural look might be a bit much, but luckily there are plenty of products at your local drugstore to mimic the barely-there look for less.



Color-matching foundation, lipgloss, mascara AND eyeshadow from Revlon's Beyond Natural collection will run you less than $40.

Here's a sampling of other products that will help get that "you, but better" look:




Do you go barely-there with your makeup or is it just too blah?

Temptation, Thy Name Is Lorac Gift With Purchase!

Hey, makeup addicts!

Feeling blah? Going through new product withdrawal?

You deserve a little beauty pick-me-up.

From now through Sunday, August 15th, get a full-size eye shadow trio in Bronzed Bombshell, a totally cute cosmetics bag AND free shipping with you spend $50 bucks or more at loraccosmetics.com. Sweet!

If that's not enough to send you into spasms of glittery bliss, unleash your inner drag queen with a Crayola palette of viva Las Vegas golds, envy-inducing greens and passionate plums, load up on lip glosses, foundation and eye shadow -- you know, all the essentials -- in Lorac's "VIP discount" section. Stock up on faves or venture into new beauty territory for up to 50% off. Prices range from $4.99 to $17.50.

Check out some of the best beauty buys:
Croc Mocktail Collection, $7.50 (was $25) - six flavored mini lip glosses in wearable shades from go-with-anything beige-y brown with shimmer to pout-a-porter reds and pinks. Perfectly portable for a long weekend or the nightmare of getting through airport security.

Glam Rocks Loose Eyeshadow, $8 (was $16) - add glitz and glamour to your lids in glided shades that are as posh as the precious metal for a pauper's price. Available in shimmery gold, copper and pearl.


Get even more bang for your bucks, and all over color, with the Snake Charmer eye palette ($17.50, was $35). It comes with four eye-catching shades and a blush in exotic, warm shimmery earth tones that will easily take you from day to night.



If you're feeling more bold, pick the Pink Python (heehee, my inner adolescent couldn't help but giggle at the name!), shimmery neutrals with a hint of turquoise for eyes, and a pop of pink sheen on the cheeks.


What are you waiting for? Go! Get shopping before this glamour girl leaves you bare-faced and empty-handed!