Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Rachel Zoe's Newsletter: "I Die!" Or A Dud?

I was like a little kid at Christmas anticipating the debut issue of The Zoe Report, the Goop/Daily Candy-like digest of things I want but usually can't afford, from "I Die!" stylist and reality-television star Rachel Zoe.

So it was with manic glee that I clicked on my in-box today, only to find that my gift wrapped fashion treat arrived without batteries.

Whatever I was expecting, it wasn't the paint-by-numbers product pimping piece I suspect a lowly and poorly dressed intern typed up between jaunts to Starbucks and A-list fashion emergencies.

For our consumer-y consideration, Zoe offers up a striking, leopard print Lola Platform pump by Brian Atwood, along with her trademarked catchphrase. To avoid potential legal entanglements, let's just say they're "apples!"

Unfortch, they retail for $680.

Unless Bravo plans to sign me up for a riveting reality show about the life of a broke blogger cum Payless fashionista, they're so out of my budget it's not enough funny. Not even ha, ha funny that's really just polite, yet uncomfortable tittering.

But whereas Gwennie dearest is totally tone-deaf to our sucky economic situation, Zoe at least suggests a real-world alternative for us normies for $129.95.

Where is the Zoe-ness that makes me sentence friends and family to absolute silence from 10-11pm so I can bask in the delicious hi-def fashion glory that is The Rachel Zoe Project?

Inserting her signature quip does not a must-read make. God forgive me, but here's hoping the next issue meets or exceeds the cultural zeitgeistiness of Goop's unintended hilarity (ugh, I think I vomited in my mouth a little ...).

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